Pain of a SOLDIER
by Twin A 07
Summary: Takes place after Angeal's death in Aerith's church... Small thing I whipped up. SPOILER ALERT! Read at own risk!


Disclaimer: We've been here already… I don't own FFVII or any of its Characters………..

……… ………… ((Hides Zack in bathroom)). Honestly…

Twin A 07: Okay, before we get on with the actual story. I want to say there is a CC SPOILER here… Can't wait to play the game… Countin' down baby!!! Lol But yeah, Slight spoilers here. So if you don't want anything spoiled, don't read it… Otherwise… Enjoy!

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It wasn't fair. Nothing about it was. How could it be? He didn't understand… Or was it, he didn't _want_ to understand? Either way, it still wasn't fair. Why? Why did he have to die? They could have worked something out. After all, they were both SOLDIER First Class. That should have counted for something, right? Butt… hadn't. IT hadn't made any difference at all. Angeal was still gone, and he, Zack, was the one to end his life.

He squeezed his eyes shut tightly, trying to stop the flow of tears he knew was coming. But the pain was too much. IT was eating away at his insides… Like a caged beast, clawing its way to the surface. He could feel it everywhere… His toes, fingers, heart… He was a SOLDIER. He knew his life could be taken away at any moment… The life of his comrades. As a SOLDIER, feelings only got in the way. But the pain was clear, gnawing at his still beating heart. He was a SOLDIER… but he was still human. He still felt pain, whether it be physical or emotional.

The pain was too much. A pained sob escaped from his throat as his body shook. Tears finally spilled over from his eyes as larger sobs racked his body. He was at the church… Visiting _her_, Aerith. Visiting her and her miracle flowers normally made him happy, so he had hoped that maybe the bright smile of his Angel would lift his spirits. But the pain was to follow him everywhere. They were supposed to go to the plate and sell the flowers; she was happily talking about the trip they were going to make.

He'd put on a smile, not wanting to worry her… However he couldn't keep it up. He'd walked down the aisle slightly, not wanting her to see his tears. It had been here he collapsed onto the ground. Here were the pain caught up with him. Here that he didn't care about his pride as a SOLDIER. And it was here that he wept, not caring who saw him.

"So you think the flowers will be happy?" he voice called out to him as her green eyes gazed up through the whole in the ceiling. The whole through which Zack fell into her life. She turned slightly hearing a pain filled sob. She could feel her own eyes brimming with tears.

She walked up behind him. He was sitting Indian style, his arms resting on his knees. His fists were clutched into tight fists. His head was bowed, bangs hiding his eyes from view. Sobs racked the body before her. Only the loss of someone dear could bring this much pain. She could feel it… Rolling off in waves from the teenaged boy in front of her. Sixteen was to young an age to feel this pain… The pain of loss. And he would always carry a physical reminder of the event with him… Not the Buster Sword that lay on the ground in front of him either… The scar that now graced his once flawless flesh…

She hadn't known this Angeal… But Zack spoke fondly of him… Worshipped him. He had been a mentor and a friend since he'd joined the SOLDIER program. And it was also because of him, that the two of them had met… She knelt down behind Zack, his strong shoulder hunched over, the weight of the pain bearing down on them being too much. Without hesitation, she wrapped her arms around those shoulders, pulling him back slightly into her. She wasn't sure what she could do for him. He'd done so much for her. And not once… Not once did he ask for any type of repayment. But… Now it was her turn to help him. She wanted him to know that he didn't have to bare it alone. She was with him…

Zack had been to wrapped up in his pain to feel her presence behind him. However at the feel of her arms around him… He wasn't surprised. She pulled him back slightly so that he was leaning against her. The sobs grew louder as the tears intensified at this notion. He leaned back against her, like a child who was seeking comfort from its mother. He could feel her arms tighten around him slightly, protecting him. It wasn't fair. He should be protecting her. Yet here they were, their roles reversed.

But he was grateful for it. After all, he was still human… Still a _child_. He still needed protection and guidance. That had been Angeal's job. But Angeal was… Angeal wasn't…

"Its okay…" he heard her say. She moved her right hand and placed it on his forehead, combing through his bangs gently. "Your not alone Zack."

… He wasn't alone. That's right. Angeal was still with him… He lived in the Buster Sword he'd given him. He was there in spirit, watching him from the Life Stream. And then there was Aerith. HE had his flower girl too… He felt himself begin to relax at her combing motion through his bangs. Between the calming motion and the exhaustion left behind from the pain, he found his eyes beginning to drift close. He was safe. HE wasn't alone. He didn't have to bare the pain alone.

He was soon fast asleep, leaning back against his angel. A smile graced her features as she wiped away the remains of his tears. Even asleep, she could sense he was in great pain… She wanted to help him. So she did in the only way she knew how… She prayed.

"Mother… Help me to ease this pain… This pain of a SOLDIER."

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Twin A 07: Yay my Second FFVII fic!! WOOT! Okay, so the reason I wrote this was because… I couldn't sleep one night… I was feeling kinda depressed and I didn't know why. So I wrote this. An hour and a half later… I finished and zonked out Again, no real pairing… But I guess you can say its Zerith Paired… R&R Please!!!


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